"I Too Have A CHOICE"

                      I agree every individual have individual rights and identity....it's not about a man or a woman, it’s about a good man or good woman... There are a set of habits we are preached since the beginning of our childhood, we call them manners... Ofcource they are different for men and women, ideally they should be but now the fight has raised because women are demanding not the equal rights but the same treatment as men gets, not understanding the fact that same set of manners are not applicable for both genders. If you are saying there is an inequality in the system amongst men and women them i must say this inequality is necessary in the society in order to maintain the balance in the ecosystem we need somebody superior over the other to maintain discipline as we need monitors in class managers in factories team leaders in corporate and head of the family in our home, and it’s not by our choice, its by our destiny God has made men different than women, and we have just accepted this fact. This superiority is somewhere and somehow misunderstood by some people as dominance. This superiority is actually beneficial for women, as we yield utmost respect to the other gender, we always try to protect our mother, sister, wife, friend in public or in society knowing that god has made them weak physically and there are sick people who can take undue advantage of your weakness, and we admit somewhere we fail, but for that we shouldn't be treated with hatred. I also accept we have some men and ofcource some women in our society believing superiority can dominate opposite gender, but they are sick, they need treatment or abandonment, but definitely not entire clan of masculine gender is blamed for that.

In India and all parts of the world To make a career can be a choice for women but it is a responsibility for men, if a family is striving for hunger nobody blames the women, Everybody blames the men of the house (it can never be his choice to work or to sit idle) and dear here in India the case is no different..  Both the genders are judged according their social characteristics. Here the woman and men both are judged at every step, if it’s what u wear for women, then how dare you stare for men, (Because after wearing a breast revealing dress in front of a man's face women expects man to act like a blind person, it’s not possible my friend its natural). If it's what u do for women then what r u doing for your family for men etc. etc. which you might have never seen in so many countries. In most of the countries virginity is not overrated, in most of the country prostitution is legalized, in most of the Islamic countries not wearing “burkha” is a crime, in many countries doing sex in public is not a crime, who will tell me whom to follow? Come out from your fancy world girls. I can also see the world in a different order and the people at our country in a different order, can I make irrational demands giving examples of other countries? "NO" Suppose if majority of people wants to legalize the rape in Haryana, would it be possible..... Considering it there choice? Again "NO" so do not degrade feminism against the shade of making CHOICES Ms Deepika Pdukone.

This is a wonderful video for boosting your false ego, "Girls". Although there is a sense of relief itself to the "Civilization" to see that most of the people and sensible girls over the internet have discarded the video, the message and the impropriety associated with it by calling it a piece of pure bullshit. Still for the rest of them I want to shoot some more examples. Not Dominance but the rule of superiority follows everywhere, in animals, birds, insects and human too.... can you go and stop a Dog raping a bitch in public? Where does your feminism go in case of animals? I know you will say we are not animals, there should be some difference between animals and humans but, remember human is also a social animal, his needs are same but he got more control power. To save his wonderful creation called mankind God itself has prompt us to create something called civilization to make our living dignity full for both men & women, don’t disturb this balance.

Now accounting the big words "Rights" & "Duties" "Pleasure" & "Responsibilities" I found an interesting fact and I am inviting anybody to rebut if I am wrong. Tell me if men & Women are equal or should be equally treated then why after separation or divorce it is always expected from Men to pay the Alimony to his partner, why cannot he get alimony from his wife? Why he is forced to pay the expense for the maintain ace of the child and herself. As you people say a husband and wife coming both from work, equal profession, and equal designation comes home earning equal salary, but at our society end it's expected that as a man he should contribute towards the household expenses. Why there such a law exist? Any answers? But our patriarchal society never complains about that, if man made society has put some restrictions over women then they have put more restrictions and conditions over themselves too. Girls, you would not have get a chance to raise your voice and rebel if our superiority turns to dominance, and you can see the example in some sharia law countries, do you want that to happen in India too?

Since ages Men and women collectively made some rules for society and it was a collective decision that men are chosen to work outside for earning livelihood and women chooses to stay at home to do household activities. With time, need of women changes they demand to have education, show interest to make a career, work outside and ofcource there was enough sense in their demand so, again it was collectively agreed to allow them to do what was needful and with the passage of time the condition of women has improved dramatically in last 100 years.

                      Now "Girls" kindly pour some sense into yourself & tell would it be possible in this patriarchal world to stand on your feet without the contribution & effort of men? And the contribution of women in the field of women empowerment 100 years back was not even recognizable. Men and women are God’s 2 different creation, their biological system is different, their pattern of thinking is different hence the way of treating them in society should be ideally different. Men not wanting their women to dress short is nothing to do with the supremacy of man, rather it is a matter of maintaining Dignity in society which is at par set for a country like India (good or bad I am not getting into debate).

" Don't Tell My Mother, I Am In Pain "

Quietly by the each passing day i am regaining my health, my recovery is on rise and now i can say i have experienced the preciousness of life after surviving an illness of 45 days. Now when i have made victory over my inertia, everything around me is looking so amazing; and slowly while the world is not looking i gradually rediscovering my social life as well. 

But few days back when after an agony of 13 days i was shifted to ICU for the treatment of Viral Hepatitis, things were not like that, I have never seen myself like this, and i would rather hate to see myself like this again, but actually i was happy, i was happy that i was alive. See i was not looking as handsome as i was looking a couple of week before, but i was feeling better than i was feeling a couple of days before. 16 February 2015, That was my 4th day without sleep and a fortnight without proper food, i was constantly loosing my appetite, severe pain in my joints, headache, vomiting and weakness drops to its worst level. i was feeling something in my stomach and bearing pain similar to the labor pain of a pregnant lady, (the pain leads my imagination to make such comparison). The final day when i was taken to the hospital, i was gone through the worst condition of my life, i have live experienced the situation of a person what he might feel before death, i had a feeling like death approaches towards me. Gradually i have noticed few disabilities in my body. My eyes turns yellow, my skin turns black. I was hallucinating, forgetting things i.e loss of memory, may be because proper blood circulation or oxygen was not reaching to the brain. My throat chokes away, i cannot raise my voice may be because lack of energy. i cannot able to control my flow of urine (Micturation) and the worst thing is i was unable to feel my limbs i was not getting sense where my hand and legs were. 

Immediately my parents rushed and i was admitted in IMCU (Intensive Medical Care Unit) of Fortis Hospital, where 5 electrode wires (Electrical Impulses Cable) attached to my body 2 in chest and 3 in stomach, and a nerve conduction device is attached to my finger and the other end to a medical monitoring device for monitoring my health. A cannula is pierced in the reverse of my right hand palm, the glucose and other medicines were administrated intravenously through this cannula, they have taken a plenty of my blood to carry out a dozen of tests.  My mother look like she is going to cry when she looks at me but i didn't want that to happen, i wanted to have my family look at me with pride instead of hopelessness. I am a strong boy i assured my mother but in real i turn weak when i see tears in my mothers eyes, she hold my hand and assured me she wont let anything bad happen with me and her tears rolled over my hand. I assured her, i can absolutely survive the hardest situation i'll ever have to be in. I was in pain but i do not want my family to be constantly terrified over my condition. i wanted my family to be firm & proud of myself every time, in every situation. My mother was constantly crying and is making me weaker so i didn't cause her pain anymore. In order to see me recovering fast, i asked her to promise me to smile every time she looks at me, instead of looking completely broken.

I knew that my illness shouldn't define my future, I knew that i deserve to be healthy again, both emotionally and physically. I am having a lot's of pending work to be done; i have to rebuilt some relationships that were hurt, i need to fix it so to be able to say "I LOVE YOU" without thinking that she will take this in distress and become hopeless about myself being an irresponsible man again. I never wanted people to show sympathy over me for being unwell, i wanted to recover at the earliest so that i can get attention for the right reasons. I know my people, my friends who love me will love to see me happy healthy and confident, but then i had no option else to bear the pain and to wait to overcome my illness. Doctors knew their job well and were doing what was needful. After 7 long days i was ready to be discharged when the doctors examined that i was out of danger and is safe to take me back to home, i was still complaining about severe headache in the back of my head, the doctor smiled and replied; "This is the least of your suffering young boy". I was feeling grateful to the almighty and then to the gentleman Dr. Sanjay Kumar (Gastroenterologist), who was not less than the shadow of God to me. I thanked him for saving my life and came back to a more deserving place "Sweet Home"

And now after another 15 days i am still in hysteria that i actually survived such an illness; but yes it happened. it happened because of your millions of good wishes, because of the power of positivism inside me and my family. And steadily i am learning to relive because i deserve to be stay healthy. I no longer have needle piercing spots over my body, Of course i am taking my medicines on time because i understand it is helping me & not because i am forced to do so. Gently i am re learning to celebrate the little, daily victories, i can think clearly again, yellowness from my eyes fades away and i am regaining my fairness and appetite. i finally able to join the chat and laughter of whats-app groups with my friends. i am again active on facebook and started posting posts in order to get business. i found time and will to write blog to recollect my memories and to let my people know about my experience. Everyday i challenge myself to see how strong i am; "mentally, not physically", Physically i am still weak from inside & doctor has advised me for a month of bed-rest and i respect my body's limits.

I feel grateful to the almighty, and i can never forget my family's effort that i finally feel live again, see, i am back to my senses,. Calmly, i am shaping into my form again, i am almost ready to do again what i once could. I know i am more worthy than my struggles defines me and along with me the world deserves to know that. A pulsating dynamic personality is evolving within me and no one have the power to stop me. I am preparing myself for the future. This condition taught me a several things and i don't want to forget my learning and i could remember all of them in my experiences

THANKYOU

Your's Loving........ XOXO

"A man should"
Have Faith in God but believe in himself.
Know how to laugh at himself.
Never stops trying, even if totter and trips.
Know how to cook a meal.
Count 1 to 5 whenever he is angry.
Be a child at heart and live like a king.
Be down to earth, yet draw eyes full of dreams.
Fall in love at least once in life.
Never forget his first kissing misadventure.
Laughs when he wants to shout.
Be Adam for the women in his life.
Know that the path of duty leads to glory.
Set goals to achieve and set new heights to reach.
Stare at a pretty girl, give compliments Generously."

"INTRODUCTION"

Somnath Karmakar is the youngest and the most electrifying stand-up comedian from Faridabad (NCR) India. He was born on 27th Jan, in a bengali family but born and brought up in U.P (Meerut), India. He displayed his exceptional skills in acting at a very young age while schooling at the Guru Tegh Bahadur Public School in Meerut. His debut in the industry however was in 2007 with a very famous television comedy series "The Great Indian Laughter Challenge, Season 3". After that, there was no stopping he soon appeared in several television shows and tele films on various indian television channels including Star One, Star News, Aaj tak, Sahara, Jan Sandesh, Total Tv, Magik Tv and numerous radio stations like Radio Mirchi, Big FM, Radio Chaska and many more. The creative team of The great Indian laughter challenge has recognized the talent and creativity of Somnath Karmakar and He was then selected Again in the third season of “The great Indian laughter challenge” in 2008. This was where he was referred to as the ‘Youngest Champion’ on the show.

From his initials successes in the show, he was asked to participate in other stand-up comedy shows in various other television channels in india. Initialy he is recognized as A Standup Comedian, but this is not all what he is. he is an Actor, a mimicry artist, a musician, a poet, a painter, a writer and lots more to mention Being an actor he believes, The actor must discover the essence of character and project that essence to the audience. he has always potrayed the essence of the character which has been perceived differently, however, at different times, periods, styles, and cultures, and by different personalities of character. When concers begins to approach part of the actor's challenge he says, "To appear real, the actor must be artificial." 

Somnath believes in the importance of an academic grounding in the basic principles of art and adheres strongly to the classical premises of art education, having childhood full of drawing and painting always foreshadowed an artistic future. After completing 4 years in college of pharmacy somnath is now persuing masters in business administration in international business. Being a pharmacy graduate by profession and an artist by passion Somnath did full justice with his passion and profession. 

Mimicry artist is performer whose act consists of giving the impression of being someone else by imitating other person’s voice and mannerisms. and the rarest combination of mimicry with Stand-up Comedy is one of the most difficult arts in the World. Being able to make a bunch of strangers laugh with your amazing skill of voice modulation is a fantastic skill. Mimicry has been studied phonetically to a very minor extent. This is quite surprising considering the interest in the phenomenon among the general public. The phenomenon has, however, an interest that goes far beyond the area of public entertainment. From a purely phonetic point of view it may tell us a lot about the flexibility of the human voice – to what extent, and in what ways, is it possible to modulate one’s voice. If you ever wondered how flexible is the human voice? then Somnath has more than phenominal 100 voices to proove himself a case study of mimicry.

With his growing success he was appreciated and loved more and more by audiences all over the world. He was asked to be a part of the "Foundation Against Thallesimia" to serve humanity on his special way, since then he has kept his association and promise to the NGO. Beside that Somnath is now well verse and feel very comfortable in stage after completing 5 glorious years and more than 500 national and international shows. from corporate shows to public shows, live concerts to university festivals Somnath has strongly made his mark of presence successfully. Amongst all the wowest moment from recieving the best mimic in inter university festival in three consecutive years 2006, 2007 and 2008 the most overwhelming moment was to perform in the honour of the chief minister of Haryana state "Sh. Bhupendra Singh Hudda ji." 

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Note: All of the Contents in my Profile is Copyright under the act © 2012 - 2013. All rights reserved.

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"I made a blunder today"

i forgot the date of examination today...........

"ONE YEAR OF TOGETHERNESS"

"FACEBOOK, mindless broadcasting of my thoughts and feelings"

Everytime 

                     when i have a lot to write about a particular thing, and i found my posts are getting excessively long, i simply divide them in segments and give title to each one of them, actually this is a trick to make the interest of the reader sustained in my topic yet in the interesting topic like facebook there are lots of thing which irritates us and there are lots of things which pleases us as well.

My idea about facebook is, it sucks when it gives me a feeling like I've made a major inroads on letting go of what other's think, facebook has not helped me with having confidence on my own idea, facebook is an easy prey of our insecurities, Facebook has made me feel more disconnected than connected, window shopping on other's lives is not the same as having a personal interaction with them. I want to be connected to people, but i don't want to be compared. i want to know how a friend's life is going, not how their personal profile is being developed out or who they have befriended or where they are shopping or what her wife is cooking tonight.

I am really fed up of these sick status updates of my "never ever known but still friends, called facebook friends",

• "If you're going to say what you want to say, you're going to hear what you don't want to hear." 
• "bye frndz gng to mumbai again................"
• "waaaasupppppppppppppppppppppppppp guyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz so gaye kyaaaa "

Even though when people didn’t have anything for a profile status to update, they would find themselves in the kitchen making Maggie and mentally posting something to their Facebook wall about a recepie “making a tasty Thai basil curry” which they have been watching in Fox Travelers. Really i have a pathetic experience about finding a nice status update and about myself, I hated being only half present in my own life and always thinking about my next status update.

But

        at the same time I loved it, craved it, and needed that attention. I wanted to be known and loved by everyone. I feared that people would forget me entirely if I left Facebook, my love-hate relationship with Facebook caused me to spend inordinate amounts of time on Facebook

i would be glad if i can change something or help to make someone change that is myself, i would glad if i began wtiting letters again, i would be glad if i started remembering birthdays on my own, if again i be able to send greetings by making homemade cards, i would be glad by calling old friends more often. I  want to relish a life free of the random agonizing moral dilemmas presented by Facebook including but not limited to; can I unfriend a dead person? Or can i resist their family to be upset? Although I did suffer moments of intense sadness, I realized that while Facebook could provide an amazing quantity of interactions, it could never make them truly meaningful to me.

We give worst treatment on the very sensitive issues of our society by making a Facebook page on them, female foeticide is a crime more common in the interior villages of our country where people do not use Facebook, and real criminals are the medical professionals who do not have time to feel guilty about  themselves on committing this serious crime, or rest, whoom we are trying to educate making these useless pages, moreover i have come across some RIP Pages, what is the purpose of doing this nonsense or is a Facebook page for a dead person the modern way to pay homage to a loved one?

I think the majority of us, if tested, would have lower self esteem after 15 minutes on Facebook than before we logged on. So I’m taking back those 15 minutes to focus on myself. To get inspired and engaged in my own life. To connect with people in-person rather than in a virtual world that was more distracting than engaging.

"FACEBOOK, kills time or it kills your creativity"

28 new notifications

• Nitin Sharma, Atul Goswami and 3 others commented on Vikas Giri's photo of you.
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• Renuka sharma shared Incredible India ! अतुल्य भारत's photo
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• Rajdeep Hooda mentioned you in a comment: "Somnath Karmakar..... Thanx for liking.."

Fun Man...

      I have wasted my 15 precious minutes by wiggling around these useless notifications, and another 15 minutes by regretting about that, i am sure if i wasn't an artist i would surely have already deleted my facebook account, as i have realized that facebook does nothing else to make u a "creative impotent patient"

I have gone though various blogs where people mentioned themselves as facebook addicts, and by the time how they have recovered themselves from this giant time eating insect just by deleting their facebook accounts. I have still restricted myself to do so because i run my business by this social networking site, i connect to my clients and other artists and event organizers by this site, i deal for shows, events , live programs by facebook, i upload my show pics, my upcoming projects, my creative peice of work, My videos in facebook, from where i got recognization from people, Hits, Likes, comments and shares are the tools which gives you a scale to measure your popularity..

People have their own reasons to delete their accounts some feel that by this site they allow unwanted people to intervene their personal life and they do not control themselves  to do this, some were working on to getting out of the comparison game. Its the game where you are accused of not focusing on the path that others have chosen, instead you feel guilty of creating your own path, Correct,  why should we? why should we feel guilty for being ourselves?

Some feels that this is a distraction for them, it is the water cooler gossip that is eating up time i could be writing. Some believe it is the window on the other people's life that reflects back what you are missing or rather, it is the window people want you to see.

i am actually amazed to see  how people use the platform of Facebook, and for what reason they post about their credit card bills, fight with their spouse or how they have being uninspired by their job. how people die to get likes on their useless posts about outdated love tips and pictures which they have clicked in the backyards or in the midst in their farms, i do not understand how would spreading post about keeping water pits in  the roof of the house for birds in summer helps to save birds from dieing unless you actually go and do the same. i don't understand why do we spoil someone's wall by tagging them with an ugly pic of an Nigerian women, and we even expect comments on this.

Moreover 

                            facebook's irritating gaming requests like farmville, Monsterworld and Sach ka saamna and all the crap applications on facebook which tells you about your death date, how much your lover loves you, and which celebrity u look like is the reason why every time i log in i take a step back. 

Oh Girl... u r mine, Oh Girl... u r mine... tere ishq mein hadd se guzar jaun, main jhooth kahu toh, kahu toh, kahu toh... marr jaun.

I was dancing in the rhythm of this song when, i again realized how much i love her...

what i can say about you girl, ur love has made me lazy apart from making crazy, seriously i do not know why i piled up all my worries upon you, probably because i know you are always there to take care of these stuffs, i don't really understand what shall i call you, what shall i give you, the only gift worthy giving you i think is "the part of thyself", and trust me i am already committed to that, i have no secrets to tell you is the most important thing in our relationship, even though it seems to hold a tiny importance in relationship but believe you me, it can create a big difference i have no fear to loose you because i know there is nothing i have to fear about losing you, i have no hearts to hide from you, no calls to receive going away from you, no person to restrict meeting you, and no place to go away from you, you are ubiquitous, present everywhere, in my mind, my thoughts, my eyes and in my breath i feel you... you need not to tell anything to me, i know what  is there in your heart cannot be explained in words,  and, for you i also have no pretty drawing, no  poems, no crptic message just three words, curved high on a mountain, covered in dew, i saw these three words... I LOVE YOU, this is the love i see in your eyes or its merely a reflection of mine, i know whom it is for.

"Delayed Realizations"

After a long period of time i found myself willing to write a post on my blog, however i am not motivated enough to write it, anyhow i am giving a try to write because today when i found the correct weather i decided why shouldn't i write few more posts before the moon fades its color.  

The biggest story of a man's failure is his satisfaction, yes i certainly agree with this statement, satisfaction in acquiring money gives his greed a full stop of earning more, Satisfaction of acquiring popularity may stops him working hard and perform better, Satisfaction of having a perfect partner may stops you yielding more love than what she deserves. 

                 Today after downloading a half dozens of songs but i have listened to a particular song 13 times (including 7 times in a row) Pani da rang vekh ke, Ankhiyan jo anju rul de..., i don't know the meaning of this song but still after a long period it succeed to anchor the shore of my heart.. The picture comes in my mind while i hear this song is...  I see myself down on my knees, tear in my eyes holding her hand tightly and saying to my princess "it hurts me more, when i hurt you" it is very painful to see you crying. i want to punish myself for bringing tears in your eyes..... these eyes are made by exclusive hands of Almighty to sparkle only... and i found myself out of the world when i see them sparkle only when you see me around yourself. You have to be really a blessed person if you want your love and your emotions to be reciprocated by her. but in my case i found myself above all earthy compliments when i see her loving me far more than i can love her... far more what i deserve. its a nice feeling and a God,s balance of love that we are so nicely adjusted with each other. she is so nicely adjusted with my sister, so nicely adjusted with my loved ones.... and definately she will adjust with my parents with equal niceness.

"We, Not Me"

Now a days very seldom i get positive impulses to write down my feelings on my blog, that too in right time is once in a blue moon and today i found that moon, colored blue.... actually this is about a relation between two people on the earth who love each other to the fullest and at the end of their verge, they have very little odds to overcome upon, differences in caste, creed, color, region all are there but still their faith in their destiny makes them fearless its very difficult to understand but yes..., they are fearless in most of the aspects related to their marriage. May be..... i am not sure, but may be this fearlessness is somewhere related to the eternal power of LOVE.

        The word love,i am amazed to see how frequently people use this word LOVE everywhere in their life, because in most of the places in the journey of a man's lifetime love is responsible for almost everything... for stability, for happiness, for extreme happiness, for bursting out in joy, for sadness, for extreme sadness, for withering in pain, causing intolerable agony......... from attempting suicide to committing it somewhere, somehow love is responsible...

         LOVE do not stop following you in your good times, but follow you in bad times as well..... somewhere when love is not seen around, the consequences of love are surely be seen. love has the power to add glory to a persons life or Gun to the persons hand.... it depends the way you handle your emotional corner of yourself, your heart.

   
   Fortunately, after a supernova explosion of emotional distress i found my Miss Perfect, and i am proud of being myself that i have sustained the stress against all odds to get a reward from God in the form of a loving partner. Difference in understanding, difference in point of views, difference in beliefs are the things i think one should completely ignore in order to effectively sustain a relationship. 

"End Of The Suffering"

"क्या खोया, क्या पाया 2011"

कुछ सीखा, हमेशा की तरह.
जो  चाहता था वो भी मिला,
जिसकी उम्मीद थी वो भी मिला
जिसकी ज़रुरत थी, वो न मिला
कुछ हासिल हुआ, कुछ खो दिया
कुछ जीता, कुछ जीता हुआ खो दिया
कुछ खोया हुआ जीता था, वो भी खो दिया..


कुछ अच्छे लोग मिले,
कुछ बुरे लोग मिले.
कुछ बहुत बुरे लोग मिले,
जो बुरे मिले उनमे कुछ अपने मिले..
जो अपने मिले उनमे कुछ बुराई मिली,
अच्छाई तो थी ही, तभी वो अपने they




कुछ खुद में ढूँढा, बुरा
कुछ बुरा मिला, कुछ कमी मिली.
कुछ कमियों को सुधरने का जरिया मिला,
लेकिन..., कमियों को सुधरने का मौका नहीं मिला......


सुकून है, कमियों के बारे में पता तो चला,
क्या पता, अगली बार मौका मिल जाये?
सुधरने का जरिया अब मिला है, उसे काम में लाओ,
उसे खो मत देना............




खुश हैं लोग, खुश रहो,
यह मत सोचो क्या खोया?
यह सोचो और क्या खो सकता था?


अपनों में बुराई खोजो तो.
उसे सुधरने का जज्बा भी रक्खो...

जो खुद में अच्छा है उसे सामने लाओ, 
बुराई और कमियों को सुधारने का मौका अपने आप मिलेगा.  


एक चीज़ सीखा.... 
" तुम्हे ऐसे ही कुछ भी नहीं मिलेगा, कुछ भी नहीं. और अगर मिलता है तो उसकी क़दर करो, उसे संभल के रक्खो, इश्वर के आशीर्वाद की तरह, वरना छीन लिया जायेगा"

God, i am sorry

Being puzzeled in your life is not always a bad phase in your life, sometimes it allows you to avoid the pain, Agony and Disdain you could have if you would have certain with your descision. And after a leap of time you realize that being puzzeled was the best descision taken by you on that particular time, Sometimes it has the power to save a relation. These are the things i do not want to discuss with anyone, and i never wanted them to be discussed with me even, despite of that if these were discussed with me so what is the harm if i share them with you. Sometimes it makes me feel i have lost the art of writing but as i said i am puzzeled i actually find that the art of writing was snatched from me by some evil force, or if i am only afraid of loosing this art however the art is still there within myself and i have still not lost it... Sorry i cannot write anymore... but one thing i have surely gained and the gained thing over the lost one surely have some value more than the former. That is "The art of forgiving" atleast i should know for what i am forgiving. this is the Art, the art is to forgive the person without knowing his mistakes, without knowing why you are choosen to forgive him, without knowing what should be the reasonable punishment if you wont have forgiven him. This art in not easy to learn.

DEATH OF MY FRIEND [3]

"हाथ ज़ख़्मी हुए तो कुछ अपनी ही खता थी ,

लकीरों को मिटाने चले थे किसी को पाने के लिए।"

Lucky are the people who find true love in their life, but luckier are those who comes back to their senses before the time runs out. Today my friend's FB status says, "I really admire people who still try to hold a smile when they have every right to break down... " and it feels like it was exclusively written for me to inspire me. Today the reason for me to smile was taken away by the person i believe was my reason to smile. After, all the things happened with me i am actually puzzeled from where do i start to recollect the broken fragments of my heart and glue them together? Ofcource she was not bounded to let me know all the things clearly, why should she? she was not commited to me, so how can i say whatever she did was ethically wrong? People do not buy respect, they earn them. she was getting enough respect from me because somewhere i felt she deserve that. "6 years, i never thought my heart will stop yeilding respect after the sixth year, but she has never cared, if she felt so she was getting the thing which was never her's then why was she crying? when after giving the right thing to the wrong person i was not crying, WHO THE HELL HAS GIVEN THE DAMN PERMISSION TO THIS GIRL TO SHED HER TEARS ON ME? who the hell has given her permission to make me feel guilty for what i havent did? who the hell has given her permission to complaint against my uncivilized behaviour, why the hell she was expecting herself to be understood when she was failing to explain herself? that was giving a feeling, she was trying to make fun of me.

This is my punishment. Yes, this should be my punishment if it took me 6 years to understand that she do not value me when out of 6 i waited 3 years just to deliver my apology to her, she do not value my efforts made for her when i selflessly converted a human being into a machine which can convert her problems to processed solutions, she had never cared for my belief when i said i loved her for her Principles. The step she has taken clearly indicates she was very much comfortable loosing a friend, ME. Still she was expecting me to stay calm?

W H Y ?

Oh My God, that was unhumane............ But i am not the only person in the world who is traveling across this traveil, there are too many of us, so? what do they do in such kind of situation? what is the most expected reaction from we people? like others why dont i just give a damn to her and end every kind of relationship from her? why i am overreacting?

DEATH OF MY FRIEND [2]

Sometimes something which we feel cannot be explain words, sometimes the reasons why we are feeling so can not be understood, Sometimes the wierdness of our behaviour is unjustifiable.

Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame in the relationship, but by this way we miss out some warmth that is needed. some things are not merely to blame. Remember always that life is not that easy to understand as it seems. Never try to apply your logic to understand every situation... Let life play its own complexity.

Sometimes, Sometimes and Sometimes it happens.

But there is a need of worying when this Sometimes changes to Often.
i often question myslf what is the need of giving myself that much pain when she is least bothered about me? i often question myslf why to look foolish while serving her when she hardly needs me, i often question myslf if this time, was there any other way which would have avoided this mishap?
i often question myslf why out of the entire 1crore 25 lakh population God has choosen me to give this pain?

W H Y ?

The language i have used for her, the words i have spoken to her, i would have killed him if anybody else spoken to her that way. Because i was so careful as i know एक तेज़ हवा का झोका, इन सब गतिविधियों को तबाह कर सकता था।

Because her self confidence was in the process of building up, it was so delicate that i have everytime sheilded it with my half folded palms. with my continous efforts of 2 complete years i have builded her belief in herself. I made her realize the world is no one to decide what she should do with her life, I gave her wings and assures her the sky was all hers, she can fearlessly spread her wings and fly high. I made her noticed that she has more positive points in her profile than negetive ones. i made her belief that she was neither arthropophobic, nor social anxiety disorder patient and definately do not need any psychatrist for her recovery, i assured her she needs no moral police as long i am alive, I encouraged her she needs to put effort for what she should do until it becomes a habit and most importantly, i made her realize she have done nothing for which she needs to feel shame of herself. And these habits are as premature as the weak vanderwall forces, they were so weak that एक तेज़ हवा का झोका, इन सब गतिविधियों को तबाह कर सकता था। i also knew its only me who knows we have to take special care of her if we want to strenthen her. and believe me i selflessly want this girl to give that strength.
and she think i have ended all these goodness just because i find her commited with someone else? or whatever is the reason?

All these thoughts filled my mind... all day long,

My Another Lap of SMS:

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  1. #@$^, जैसा मैं तेरे लिए अपने प्यार की इज्ज़त करता हु, तेरे प्यार की इज्ज़त करना भी मेरा फ़र्ज़ था, येही सोचके मैंने तुझे बुलाके %*#@!$^ और तेरा relationship कितना gracefully accept किया था, उसके बाद तेरा दूसरा relationship एक दम से इतने ही gracefully कैसे accept करता? इसी सोच ने मेरे दिल में तेरे लिए ज़हर भर दिया। मैंने तुझे hurt किया, क्यूंकि उस time वह बात मेरी समझ के बहार थी।

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  2. मैंने तो गलत किया ही है, i agree, लेकिन तुने भी बहुत गलत किया है यह सच्चाई भी accept कर। और इस वजह से तेरी गलती कम नहीं हो जाती।

• 
  
  3. मैंने तो पाप किया था, उसी की माफ़ी मांगने आया था आज। #@$^, तुम्हारी position तो बहुत ऊपर है , किसी भी इंसान के बारे में ऐसा कहना बड़ी गिरी हुई हरकत है। i know, But the pain i had is still the same जो तुमने मुझे दिया है।

DEATH OF MY FRIEND

I was withering in pain, wanted to talk to her, wanted to know why it has become so necessary to do the thing, the way which had hurted me the most, wanted justification for the entire act,

the vodafone number you are calling is busy on another call, kindly hold the line or call again later !!!

जिस vodaphone उपभोगता को आप फोने लगा रहे हैं वह अभी दुसरे कॉल में व्यस्त हैं, कृपया लाइन में बने रहे या पुनह प्रयास करें धन्यवाद .

34 calls one after another, beeped the same message..... पुनह प्रयास करें धन्यवाद.

One after another i have shoot 5 SMS's

1. out of all the dirty things u posess, u know what is the dirtiest one? u r such a coward girl, now face me. u bloody murdrer of my friend.

2. jis relation ko banane k liye tune mere friend ki jaan li hai... that relation will never work for you.. A bleeding heart is cursing you really, dil se.

3. U have Smashed my belief by your foot, God will never forgive you.

the vodafone number you are calling is busy on another call, kindly hold the line or call again later !!! .................. For another 26 times.

4. kitni besharam insaan hai tu, mujhe laga itna itna sunne ke baad kahin mooh chhupa ke ro rahi hogi, lekin tu toh apne naye yaar ke sath lagi hui hai. Shameless creature.

5. Will talk to u tomorrow, u have 2 options ya baat kar lena ya jaise vinay ko kaha tha, apne boyfrn se bolke mujhe pitwa dena.

That time my senses were overruled by my demons.... for me i was talking to the murdrer of my friend, the friend whoom i have loved like anything. i believed my friend has died and will never be back, and i wanted to shoot the killer right away. By any how i wanted my friend back. but knowing that it was not possible my frustration started circulating throughout my body like glucose in blood and my anger started leaking invoulantry from the pores of my body, and i was having no control over that.
"Strange but true"

Another 11 calls were made and it was still beeping busy tone. 12th call after a while gave the first ring, suddnly disconnected. My another cellphone beeped SMS tone,

Her reply:

God himself knows that i've done nothing wrong, so mujhe kuch nhi hoga. m not a coward girl. One thing get cleared in your mind, you've lost your bestest friend you could ever have... and now i know that i've lost.....

JUST NOTHING.!

My re-reply:

Even mujhe bhi pata hai tumhe kuchh nahi hoga, kyunki bhagwan se maine manga tha tumhare saare dukh mujhe mil jaye.. I m still paying 4dat, and keep paying. u just keep urself happy seeing me bleeding and withiring in pain.

HRITHIK TIMES IN INDIA

Realizations...

May, june & July are the three months in roman calender i always confused with, i m never able to remember any special day or historical moment comes in these 3 months, not even my mother's birthday, no certain reason for this but this happens from childhood, and never i have tried to figure out the reason for this.

The only good thing about present days are, they are falling in the month of may, june and july and i m sure they cannot be remembered long, only which i can consider had brought me in very pathetic condition... Surely they are not amongst the worst days of my life because the condition has taught me a lot of things.

A little mystry, a liitle pain, a litte struggle is very necessary in life, at least for making a referance that the days you consider good, and to know exactly how much goodness they actually posess. a little misfortune will bring you in a position where you are forced to rely upon your hard work more than your luck. A person can only enjoy the taste of success who himself has experienced failure. Someone has right said "दूसरो की गलतियों से क्या सीखना" try your own mistakes.

Few wrong descisions in your life will make yoy realize how correct your parents were, few wrong people will make you realize how precious your true friends were, and a heavy loss in your business makes you realize how satisfying that little profit was. But the factor of REALIZATION only comes when you trave across this Deep Intellect slumber.


Being motivated everytime is not possible, being energetic, being efficient, being aware may not be possible everytime, but which needs to be uninteruptedly continuing in you in any circumstances is being enthusiastic. what i beleive from my very experiences is its absolutely fine and acceptable if have nothing in hands, but its absolutely not acceptable if you have nothing in your dreams.


Cry, if you feel like crying.

Shout, if you feel like shouting.

Sing loud, if you feel like.

Make arguments illogically, irritate people unreasonably, make offences... show frustration if you are frustrated... its acceptable

but which is not acceptable is HOPELESSNESS.

"LOVE SPEAKS NO LANGUAGE"

If you wonder how true love can be communicated then you must watch this movie,

Surinder Suri argues with his friend that he is doing nothing wrong by allocating his parental property to his wife Tani ji, eventhough he knows very well that she is planning to elope with Raj who is actually Surinder himself in fashionable & heroic getup.

Surinder's argument was when tani asked curiously; "तुम इतना खुश कैसे रह सकते हो राज? क्या तुम्हे प्यार में दर्द नहीं होता?" Raj replied overwhelmingly and with a convincingly heart touching smile... "दर्द; प्यार तो रब्ब दी मेहरबानी है, तो प्यार में कैसा दर्द? और रही बात प्यार जाने की तो प्यार कोई प्यार के बदले थोड़े न किया जाता है. अब देखो, मुझे आप में रब्ब दिखा, मुझे आप से प्यार हो गया... आपको किसी और में रब्ब दिखा आपको किसी और से प्यार हो गया... यह तो बड़ी simple सी बात है..."

Tani's voice raised an octave, "मेरी लाइफ इतनी simple नहीं है राज", with a serious node "मुझे किसी में रब्ब नहीं दीखता" and then raj offers tani to elope wid him and she agrees.

The feeling of a heartbroken husband called surinder inside raj cannot be explained in words. but his plea of giving without expecting anything in return in love gives his lovestory an extra lift.

And i m feeling the same now...

Really... "सच्चे प्यार में दर्द नहीं होता"